Saturday, July 10, 2010

Thoughts About Relationships

The typical romantic relationship creates an in-group of two which is sort of contractual so that both parties can feel comfortable. People invest too much in the fulfillment of that contract, like personal worth, so that if the contract is suspected to be violated, the suspected member is also suspected of not caring for the other member, and the other member thus can feel undesirable and worth less in sexual/social/personal terms.

It seems unnatural to define such absolute boundaries, but this is probably caused by biological survival mechanisms (more explanation needed, but can be generally inferred). Regardless, these absolute boundaries seem to be the cause for such overwhelming, extreme emotions – “you are my only love,” etc.; if you are deemed to be the most fit for someone’s (whom you too are attracted to) most powerful interpersonal feelings/actions, the pleasure of being accepted by what one might call the abstract group of attractive people would indeed be overwhelming.

The pitfalls of this type of relationship are pretty obvious. This sort of contract asks for all of the person’s culturally defined “intimate” feelings/actions possible towards persons defined as eligible for romantic interaction, thus leaving itself open to no deviations and being broken by merely one. Then, of course, revisions are possible but that is merely compromise and is no longer an ideal, pinnacle of romantic love; this exemplifies how one’s expectation can defeat one’s own desires.

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